@yihong 0618 encountered a problem:
After returning from playing in Beijing, after experiencing queuing at scenic spots, getting off and on the subway, and some scenic spots not allowing feeding small fish but some people still did. My son asked us a question that seemed easy to answer but was hard to answer for a child over 5 years old: “Mom, why do others not follow the rules, but we have to follow them?”
I think similar questions often arise. For example, some people run red lights, don’t wear helmets, cut in line, grab limited-purchase medicines, etc.
From the perspective of morality and the understanding of good and evil, my usual answer has been: we cannot be uncivilized like others.
If she cuts in line to register for a child who is about to die, do you think her quality is low or high? If he overtakes and cuts in line recklessly to perform surgery on that child who is about to die, is he good or evil?
When this matter falls on oneself, on one hand, how do you view those who do not follow the rules, and on the other hand, how do you feel about benefiting from others not following the rules?
@HowardSu provided a standard paradigm:
Because following social rules means taking on relatively less risk, rules are not absolute but are meant to avoid trouble, so choosing to follow the rules reduces the probability of encountering trouble, while not following the rules increases the probability of encountering trouble.
Conversely, if a person can be thick-skinned and bear the risk, they can gain immediate benefits. For example, if they grab medicine, they have to cut in line to buy it, and if they succeed, assuming this medicine is equally important to everyone, doesn’t that mean they are taking away your right to survive?
Society is built on mutual respect, understanding, and the joint maintenance of rights among people. If we only focus on our own needs and ignore the rights of others, society will ultimately be unable to function.
Recently, there was news about a grandparent and grandchild who were bullied online for cutting in line, which is a real case of bearing high-risk consequences for not following the rules.
But I think that’s not enough; at least I don’t think that way.
Why do we follow the rules? I believe that saving cognitive processing costs and mental exhaustion is key.
Following the rules is a habitual behavior that doesn’t require excessive thinking and judgment; it can be done automatically, thus saving us a lot of cognitive resources and allowing us to focus our limited attention and energy on other more important things.
If your skin isn’t thick enough to feel like you are the only one in the world, when you plan to violate the rules, your brain must go through a round of precise calculations to assess the unexpected situations caused by uncertain factors; you need to accumulate more energy than usual to push this abnormal behavior.
The various troubles caused by not following the rules require us to respond and deal with them in real-time, increasing the complexity and uncertainty of life, leading to some unexpected consequences.
If you escape a red light without a camera, will you be so lucky at the next red light? Over time, you will lack the necessary vigilance towards red lights, and the consequences are obvious.
The main reason we follow the rules is to avoid these troubles and accidents to the greatest extent, reducing mental burdens, and not having to struggle with whether to cut in line or whether to overtake.
To simplify things, if you think queuing is troublesome, then don’t queue.
One time I went to buy milk tea, and there was a long line at Mixue Ice City, while the milk tea shop next door was empty. I decisively went next door to buy. As long as it’s not urine, I probably can’t taste much difference. But if you insist that the pearls in Mixue Ice City can prolong life, I won’t stop you.
Even if you eat feces in front of me, it’s your freedom, but you can’t force others to taste it just because you think it’s delicious.
Following the rules represents taking the simplest and most direct course of action, without going in circles, which precisely aligns with the linear theory, achieving the maximum goal with minimal consumption.
Let’s simplify our lives and focus on what truly matters.